MBS

A better way

on behalf of the children

and the facts of their lives

A broken social system is not a suitable environment in which to raise children

A healthy and well adjusted child requires a healthy and well adjusted environment in which to grow

There are no better educated minds in regards the prevention and survival of sexual abuse than those who have both prevented and survived.

My Broken Society :: My Broken Society


STORIES OF MY SOLUTIONS

 

through my battles with

 

 

  • my Parents

  • my Teachers

  • my Brothers and my Sisters

  • my Wives

  • my Peers

  • my Workmates

  • my Premiers and my politicians

  • my Church

    and

  • my Society

    and

  • myself

 

 

“Why and how the uptake of genuine healthy social reform is prevented and why we as a society are foolish because we are not genuinely attempting to begin to understand the problem.

 

The problem is that almost 20% of our society can identify themselves as being victims of sexual abuse and that number is growing.

 

The problem is simply not limited to any particular area of society, it is widespread throughout our community, this does include members of all political persuasions as well as all religious and clergy; all professions and trades are equally affected.

 

We simply do not have sufficient understanding or resources to intervene across our entire society, this was clearly understood by Pope Benedict XVI when he apologized to the World that despite all the resources and all the work of his Church over the past thousand years it has not been able to diminish this phenomena to below the average found across the whole of society; and it truly must be something of which he has wept over for him to have taken such a brave step in an attempt to quell such an overwhelming problem. His statement may well put him as the Pope who turned the world around simply by acknowledging that the Church also has a problem with this issue and does not know how to proceed.

 

An understanding of the causes and dimensions of the clergy abuse crisis are not only essential to our society, the knowledge gained from that understanding is simply the only way our society will ever be able t come to terms with it and to eventually move forward – such is the dimension and the impact of this phenomena on our society.

 

The Church has taken the advice of the best legal services available and has globally poured billions of dollars into what they believed was the right way forward – it simply has not worked and is not working and the Church will continue to bleed money in a futile attempt to both defend itself from its critics and it simply applies more zeal and money towards the problem. Nothing has changed from in that wayof approaching the problem and it is simply doomed to be a long term series of expensive failures creating more issues than it resolves in the process.

 

 

This book and website set out to bring about a total community round-table to present the facts and to hear from all parties of the wrongs that have been committed and the rights that have been broken. To provide the opportunity to present to the world your solutions.

 

Stories can be told, however the intention is to provide a voice for your own conclusions as a result of your own experience of sexual abuse.

 

This means effectively that a successful and promoted author will possibly write from the perspective of outcomes and implementation - the result aimed for - that result is a better society, a society which simply because of its understanding of what and how the current situation has come about is able to intuitively understand that which is not of benefit to them or to mankind.

 

 

Provide an outlet for all to be heard

Gather the statistics and evidence of their experiences, take their statements

Define and categorize a list of facts

Gather together and categorize the folklore surrounding the issue

Gather sound solutions

Define and categorize the conclusions

Develop strategies within the confines of The Universal Declaration of Human Rights and the Rights of the Child

Present those strategies to our society as they are formulated

Direct the attention of authorities to the strategies and conclusions

 

Bullying and abusing are not acceptable simply because they are incompatible with the sought after outcome; terrifying and horrifying personal stories can cause terror and horror in many readers, it is for that reason that access to those are made available only to those who seek to register their interest and reason to access them.

 

Access to much important information is not in the destination – it is in the journey. The destination is simply a society without the sexual abuse of all. The first step in that direction is the prevention of the sexual abuse of our children. There simply can never be such an outcome unless we begin to undertake the steps needed.

 

 

 

 

 

Itis currently understood that Australia has approximately 2.7 million survivors of sexual abuse. Many of these people become abusers as we know. Unless Government take a well advised approach society will continue to produce victims and therefore abusers. This, as it is currently doing in the current circumstances will cause many others in a society to react as they reel away from the harm such a conflict brings.

 

When a victim becomes an abuser it is rare that they abuse only one person, most when they turn this way abuse many - the ratio of victims which turn abuser is in the range of x% of population. The number of those who turn abuser is x%. The number they in turn harm amounts to x% of the population.

 

The action of a victim when they in turn abuse someone are either re-enacting in a perverse way their own original abuse or they are simply acting in an acceptable way. (can take a sidestep here and explain how an abuser can consider it is acceptable [perverse – not so]. In order to show this it is necessary to show this.

 

Stepping into the cycle of abuse at the point where the now abuser was themselves abused – in the past these abuses have been covered up in many ways, one of which is the never ending battle the church wages to uphold its good name – there are many other such battles being waged by Governments to uphold their good name as well – this is so for every person on a personal level.

 

You cannot treat what you do not understand!

 

When unchecked as it currently is we become a society which is self generating an ever increasing number of abusers and therefore victims- the impacts are society wide - the current government and legal approaches have simply failed and will continue - amazingly we teach our children that there are appropriate ways to treat one another and most respond well to that - that is until they begin to reason for themselves and begin to experience life in reality - a very different reality than the one the have been taught - this comes in a persons teenage years - this is where a dysfunctional society will begin to go off the rails when it is operating in a dysfunctional manner. When we clamp down and sanction those teens who are out of control

 

A child in a safe and harmonious household will act in more appropriate ways (unless or until they become traumatised through an abuse experience from the growing population of abusers) simply because they are or they feel they are understood.

 

Abusers are victims who have not been treated effectively. That the number of abusers and subsequently victims are and will continue to grow until a comprehensive outcome driven response is made at Government level.The problem of sexual abuse has stumped not only governments it has stumped even the Catholic Church despite all its efforts and good work. This inability in the Church was re-enforced on the recent visit by Pope Benedict XVI when he apologised to victims who had been abused by religious and explained that even his Bishops need help because they have been unable to act in the way the Church teaches in this respect.

 

You cannot treat what you do not understand!

 

We have reacted and evolved to have a situation which can be described aa stalemate - Government has simply had to hold victims at arms length else they would be over-run so they feel. Those affected feel they are not being heard and they do just as politicians, children and people of all countries, ideals, religions or persuasions do -they tell why or how they have been injured. They tell it louder and more forcefully when they understand that they are mis-understood -that the way human beings of all races and colors act - we call that acting naturally.

 

When the story someone tries to tell is so horrific that it raises fears and horrors in the listener they in turn want to get as far as possible from whet they are hearing - their response is also quite natural. The only way to reconcile or bring peace to a situation such as that is to satisfy both parties. Governments simply because they are made up of people cannot approach victims as they will be overcome by the victims experience. It falls back to the victims to find a means to relay what they know to have been harmful and does pose a risk to many others. If it was as simple as that a huge step forward could be made if Government were to effectively say to victims (in the way any guardian who has compassion for their charge who has been injured) that if you can calm down and refrain from retelling me of the graphic details then I will be able to listen to you. If I am able to listen to you I will then be able to devise better strategies so that this will not occur again - if ever there was an opportunity to calm and soothe those harmed then such a situation as this would be taken up as an elixir of life by those affected - it would provide a genuine opportunity to be heard on the most important thing they have in mind - the driving force of those harmed simply is not to have to retell their story, it is to be able to put forward some of what they have learned that can be used to protect others.

 

Neither healing or good governance can take place in such an environment -something must give eventually or there must be some form of intervention to break that cycle. That the numbers of victims is increasing and logically it must then eventually the government will be overwhelmed - a guaranteed recipe for disaster in a society. Both parties must make a change - victims believe they can make the required changes if such a mechanism existed. That simply leaves the government with the opportunity on their doorstep and they need to find a means to fulfill their part of the bargain.

 

Given that such a scenario were to exist the problem then becomes on of the equality of the parties. Victims will undoubtedly make statements beginning with "When Government ... ", because of the nature of the relationship and the ways Governments work there is no opportunity for Governments to say with authority "When victims..." because there is and has never been that degree of understanding on both sides. The challenge for Government to be able to put its case equally on the same level or in the same manner in which victims think - on an individual level. Victims will and can be quietened if they are listened to and in those areas where they have reacted incorrectly and there is an explanation which is consistent across the country and there are appropriate actions underway then victims have little in that area to cry out about - Governments and the population get what they want - victims get what they want.

 

You cannot treat what you do not understand! You cannot understand what you will not listen to. Until Governments understand this the noise from the harmed and abused will simply become louder and louder and the dysfunctional processes that currently exist will continue until in this way or some other way there is an ability for both sides to understand each other - when that scenario is put in place and nurtured into life there will for the first time in our society's history be an opportunity to interrupt and to break the cycles which cause so much harm to that society.

 

Until then every citizen should shut down their heartstrings, policing and governments should seek more and more power to sanction and control and ever increasing number of victims - one which gets a boost from the sanctions and the need for society to close their hearts to what they see and hear.

 

 

 

 

 

Bill Heffernan

 

I read of your outrage in regards the trawling for children in the schools - it was promising for me to hear from someone in your position speak out for such a good reason. It told me of your ability to see the connectedness of such events.

 

Like you have probably heard many times I felt you did not go far enough due to the failure to speak also of the behaviour of the parents -one of them acted responsibly with a "No thanks, not for mine"- a good response in the circumstances - the other parents were simply blind to what might occur - just as the headmaster was - both in fact should have known better. they can only know something better if they understand it.

 

I believe I understand a great deal about this as that has simply been a requirement for me to survive as I was the unfortunate recipient of the result of similar blindness in my childhood.

 

There is great motivation when your life presents you with an unwritten law which reads in this way.

 

Understand to survive for if you fail to understand you will die.

 

That circumstance is a fact for someone who lives life as a statistic. One which research shows a huge failure rate; when the research says Ifit into a demographic which has more than a 1,200% above average chance of committing suicide you need to understand your environment if you simply want to stay alive – that is all that survival is.When you understand that you are in that demographic there is genuine motivation to understand else quite simply you die - most often by your own hand.

 

On reading this next par if this were a paper letter you would simply screw it up and bin it - you may simply miss an opportunity of understanding something as well as the opportunity to do something about it. The next par will bring that type of frustration or outrage and that is justifiable so in my opinion - guess in a way that makes me a messenger, one which Nero might well have had my head cut off simply because I spoke the words of the message I was ordered to deliver - youch.

 

That understanding leads me to this - you will not win on this against the"art" concept and the more and harder you push it the more and harder it will come back on to you - and - the more and harder you will wish to fight what is clearly to both of us an outrage - the abandonment of children in this instance by headmaster and by parents.

 

When it all has died down including the many encouraging you to fight harder and longer and those others despising and hoping for your downfall. Then you remain the one who carries the bruises at the end of that and you wonder what the bloody hell is wrong with so many of these people.

 

That circumstance is almost an everyday occurrence for people in my demographic and we simply do not survive if we have not learned to understand a great deal of the reasons why.

 

I would like to think that my paper letter did not get scrapped but instead it got filed aside to come back to after this instance has settled somewhat. Perhaps then we can talk and discuss these matters not just in regards the surviving of the battle but in regards turning it around - our children need this and they deserve it -there is no need for me to fill you with horror by relating the stories of that to re-enforce that point.

 

rgds JohnB

 

 

 

 

Statements of fact.

 

Governments are unable to provide acceptable outcomes for more than 5 to 10% of the population of abused.

 

Religions are unable to provide acceptable outcomes for more than 5 to 10% of the population of abused.

 

The Law is unable to provide acceptable outcomes for more than 5 to 10%of the population of abused.

 

This statement can be argued for a millennium and the counting and mock outrage about that will at the end of it all change lonely a very little – some of the numbers may go up, some may go down – they will remain close to those ranges. At the conclusion of that battle we will be able to smugly say “There. We got that right” and goon about something we find more interesting or urgent.

 

The fact is these are deplorable numbers and are clear evidence that resent approaches are not working.

 

It is simply not good enough for our Government to say – Look we are counting the numbers, we are putting millions of dollars in, we are implementing programs, we are doing all these things and more, and what is more that is all true. That it is not producing the results is also true.

It is simply not good enough for our Religions to say – Look we are counting the numbers, we are putting millions of dollars in, we are implementing programs, we are doing all these things and more, and what is more that is all true. That it is not producing the results is also true.

 

It is simply not good enough for our Law to say – Look we are counting the numbers, we are putting millions of dollars in, we are implementing programs, we are doing all these things and more, and what is more that is all true. That it is not producing the results is also true.

 

The people also say – Look we are a part of the numbers, we are putting all our resources and efforts in, we are implementing programs, we are doing all these things and more, and what is more that is all true. That it is not producing the results is also true.

 

These 4 key performance indicators of our society are all in the red. This indicates the need for an all-party solution.

 

The following 4 social KPIs will move based on the input of those directly affected – a quality state of their healing, health and welfare being the sought after outcome (based on DoHR and TroTC being become the standards by which these 4 KPIs will be measured. Simply put, if we are unable as a society to provide these basics to those harmed even though it is through no lack of resources and intention of those involved.

 

KPI1 KPI2 KPI3 KPI4

Battles page

...templates carry the following header

 

 

 

My Personal Solutions

 

My personal battles and the solutions I have come up with as a result of those battles are:

 

Cat map of Battles – titles – date of publication – link to individual articles

 

individual articles - need to dev a related pages link builder – add field related [%c:id,id,id%] on load SELECT * WHERE related LIKE $id ---create array - build a link set using images for compact title <LI>for full. Order can be manipulated through the arrangement of the id array. A more sophisticated would require 2 Qts to be able to build an up-down previous-next manu.

 

 

Might need a name change to be more positive and to take away the war aspects or feel

 

 

 




On the sexual abuse, exploitation & deception of children

For those who have and for those who want to 'Hit the Wall'

There is no excuse for sexual abuse according to our law and government except when the abuse has been carried out by Catholic clergy.

"This is a matter for the church and I respect the internal judgements of the church. I don’t stand outside the church and provide them with public lectures in terms of how they should behave..."

Kevin Rudd, Prime Minister of Australia, 17 July 2008.

http://www.pm.gov.au/media/Interview/2008/interview_0363.cfm

read more ... http://www.mybrokensociety.com/questions101

This is perhaps the most horrific act of abandonment perpetrated against the children of a specific religion by an Australian head of State and is recorded in our history for perpetuity as being made by Kevin Rudd on 17 July 2008, when he spoke in regards those affected by the sexual abuses carried out by Catholic clergy.http://www.pm.gov.au/media/Interview/2008/interview_0363.cfm

This is a deeply flawed and invalid response both morally and legally which includes all victims of clergy abuse being referred over to the leader of the Catholic Church or the respective leaders of other Churches or Religions when quite clearly sexual abuse by clergy is a phenomena found in many Churches and religions and it simply is not within the Prime Ministers realm to pass responsibility for those sexually abused by Catholic and non-Catholic clergy over to the Catholic church or anyone else.

read more ...

Is it any wonder our children are confused?

No wonder our children are confused - if we continually send confusing messages to our children then it is us who is acting irrationally when we demand the right to sanction them for acting in the same way we do, or in the same way our Government services do.

No amount of resources, education, laws, treatments or levels of incarceration and sanctions can educate a child to function both successfully and rationally in a society when the very society which is demanding that is unable itself to function at the levels demanded. There is no rational response to such an irrational situation.

Is it any wonder so many are confused?

Government and our religions are unable to provide and implement successful strategies in regards sexual abuses by clergy and other in the community.

Government and our religions repeatedly and stubbornly refuse to consult with the victims of these abuses by clergy and others in the community and their carers and advocates.

Is it any wonder so many are abused and re-abused?

How can they expect our children to act in a more adult and responsible manner, a manner which is above the examples set by our Governments and religious.

How irrational and foolish are we when we use sanctions against those who are unable to perform on demand at a higher level than those applying the sanctions.

Is it any wonder our children think we are foolhardy and stupid?

Of course we can always sanction our children severely for saying that we got it wrong. We can also sanction them for getting it wrong themselves in a confused world. Their need to survive and remain accepted as children will simply cause them to cede to those sanctions. This simply shows that if you beat a child hard enough and demand that he agree with you they must if they simply want to be loved by their parents and elders. If they want to ever experience the love of those who sanction they simply have no choice but to cede and conform to the power held over them - this use of power proves nothing other than acknowledging the fact that you can force someone into submission. It in no way proves your are on the right track.

Quite simply if these men genuinely had the ear of God as they say, it simply would not have taken 500 years as in the case of Mr Galilei and the shape of the earth, nor would it take very long to resolve the sexual abuse issue if they simply had 10 seconds with God.

It is clear that they simply do not have that line to Jesus Christ because quite simply if they did they would act differently.

Check these other related sites: City of Angels Lady | Molested Catholic | xt3 Molested Catholics | Saint Mother Mary MacKillop | City of Angels Lady | Irish Fire and Ice | September 1 2009 | TFYQA | My Broken Society